“Maybe you had to leave in order to really miss a place; maybe you had to travel to figure out how beloved your starting point was.”
Lately I’ve been wondering if I made the right decisions by moving across the country. I always live by having no regrets but for some odd reason, I’m really starting to regret my move. The main reason is because of my job and the false expectations they set for me prior to moving. I won’t go too much into detail in regards to that but it’s changing my views of this move drastically.
It’s so easy for everyone to say, “You have to make the best of it,” when they have absolutely no idea how long I’ve been “trying to make the best of it”. One of my biggest fears when making this major life decision was failing. I fear failing. Not saying there’s anything wrong with it but when you had realistic goals set and they aren’t playing out exactly how you intended, it kind of gets scary. I’ve been trying my best to stay as positive and patient as possible but I feel like my time is running skimp.
Not only has my job been unnecessary stressful but I’ve been home sick for a while and it’s really starting to take a toll on me. Yes, there’s so much to do here in SoCal and I get out and explore when I can but I’m honestly not too pressed. I mean maybe if I could add more of my close family and friends plus my favorite East Coast restaurants things could be much better. I know that sounds extremely fat…haha! I just miss when I was able to call my friends and make last minute plans to hangout or just take a drive and pop up at my families house and enjoy the good times. Those are moments I cherish the most in life.
Living in a huge state filled with nothing but interesting festivities and cultures but I still find myself feeling lost. There’s a super dope environment and I know I belong but everything isn’t for everyone no matter the circumstances. Just like the saying, “The grass isn’t always greener on the other side”. I’m sure once things are finally situated with my job or another, my views may change and my goals will be back on the right track.
Hmmm, we shall see.